I sat down tonight with the idea to see what was up with some of my old favorite blogs. Made me realize it has been a really long time.
A lot has changed in this time frame. A lot has stayed the same. I am still married to the husband. Not by choice. We cannot seem to come to terms for the divorce. The daughter lives with me and we live a nice, comfortable life. She's a senior and heading off to college in the fall. Then I will really be an 'empty nester'.
I'm still teaching - I think that's what I was doing last time I wrote. Love my job. Love my students. They are the highlight of my day - kids say the funniest things! I've joked for a couple of years that I'm sure there's enough material from doing this to write a best seller.
I want to move. Really far away. I don't see that happening, but I do like to imagine myself somewhere else but here in the house alone when she leaves. She's so busy now with school and guard and life that she's barely home as it is and I don't need that spare time on my hands to get into any sort of trouble or mess that I cannot get out of.... so I think moving would be a great distraction. I want to put the house on the market soon - been talking to a realtor. I just need a change.
Not everything has been 'hum drum'. I laugh. I cry. I get up early in the morning for a job that I love. I get to still peek in at the sleeping beauty who doesn't need me nearly as much as I need her these days. We still have the cat. And Peace. No drama. No fighting. No deception.
So why am I not happy? When does happy get to return to my life? Probably when I stop making mistakes that lead me down the unhappy trail. (I know this makes no sense - just bare with me...)
So let's see if I can continue the blogging after being gone for so long. Next post, I promise to be much more upbeat.