I have been doing some soul searching lately. Trying to figure some things out as I venture down the road called "Life". Here are some things that bother me about myself...
1. I hate cleaning. Or rather, this is something new. I would rather just not do it. No Nike slogan will work here (Just Do It) because I would rather not. And this is a horrible thing to admit. I used to like to clean. I loved doing laundry. Truth be known, I have never been fond of mopping though. But lately I have not been a very good keeper of the home. I don't know what's happened to me ... but I need to snap out of this and pronto!
2. I have a new hair cut...that I hate. Not strongly dislike. We are talking H A T E. It is too short. I can't do anything with it. It feels like a mess most of the time because I can't do anything with it!
3. I think I am in para menopause. You know, the state before the state of menopause? Because the hot flashes have started. I don't think it's just because I live in the south either. This might explain why I don't like my hair...because I can straighten it... and low and behold a hot flash comes on the scene and I am curly all over again! It's like Mother Nature with a wicked sense of humor!
4. The only person I can blame for my bad habits is me. How many times am I going to start a diet and exercise plan only to fail? I am so sick of this! What is WRONG with me that I cannot do this and get it over with...? Sort of like taking off a band aid... Why can't I just rip that sucker off and be done with it?
5. Attending a big university is NOT all that it's cracked up to be. To be honest, I am miserable academically right now. I feel like I am in this tiny little boat trying to make my way across the world's largest body of water...with two pencils to use as oars.
I think I also have a habit of spreading myself too thin (no weight pun intended...but oh! if it were that easy!). I have a tendency to take on things that I would be better off just not doing. Because when there is too much to do, I find myself not doing anything. Or rushing at the last minute to try to get everything done and really not feeling happy with myself.
Anybody else ever feel this way? Or am I the only little boat with two pencils as oars?