Saturday, August 28, 2010

Learning As I Go

The earlier post was an eye-opening epiphany for me. I think I needed to get down on paper where I am at THIS place in my life. I needed a place to put it all until I was able to go back and reflect. The past few days have been a few days of reflection for me.

You that expression about how, to eat an elephant, you have to tackle it one bite at a time. That's got to be my approach to life. The house: Well, it has to be handled one piece at a time. That means if it's one floor, one room, one closet or the tiniest corner, it's all about taking it one thing at a time. I have a tendency to get overwhelmed because I feel like I have to do everything and do it all at the same time. So yesterday, while The Bug was home sick from school, I tackled part of the kitchen. I did some deep cleaning but did not allow myself to feel like I failed when I didn't cover it from top to bottom. I'll finish up in there in a couple of days. Instead in the afternoon I did my dusting and vacuuming and fluffing in the living room.

I am working on getting a handle on my school work. Just like with the elephant, I decided to make a master list of all my classes and when my assignments are due and I am working my way through them. In whatever spare time I have, I need to read 10 middle school books. I've managed to take care of six of them this week. I want to get this part of my assignment over and done so that I can focus on other things....like reading something because I want to ... not because I have to for a grade. Bowling is turning out to be fun and believe it or not, this non-bowler is one of the better ones in my class. That means the rest of my class is really BAD or practicing on the Wii was a good idea. I vote for the Wii. It has allowed me to focus on the 4-step approach, which was driving me crazy the first time we bowled in class.

In all of this I have realized that I need to find some time for me. I spend most of my time worrying about working or going to school or being a good mom and wife. I have read before about people who lose themselves in the process of trying to please everyone else. Maybe that's what has happened to me. I spend too much time trying to please everyone else. So I need to make time to take care of myself because if I spread myself too thin there won't be any of me left for the people who are important in my life. I need to make time to get healthy, too. One step at a time. And a setback is not a failure. That's a hard idea to process because I think once I slip up and eat something I shouldn't, I feel like I have failed and fall back into my bad habits rather than realizing it was a bump in the road and that tomorrow is another day.

These past six months have held a lot of change for us. I am hopeful in the next six months things will have changed for me. One day at a time. One idea at a time....learning as I go. I'm going to have remind myself down this path that you should never postpone the joy of life.

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Some Things I've Learned

I have been doing some soul searching lately. Trying to figure some things out as I venture down the road called "Life". Here are some things that bother me about myself...

1. I hate cleaning. Or rather, this is something new. I would rather just not do it. No Nike slogan will work here (Just Do It) because I would rather not. And this is a horrible thing to admit. I used to like to clean. I loved doing laundry. Truth be known, I have never been fond of mopping though. But lately I have not been a very good keeper of the home. I don't know what's happened to me ... but I need to snap out of this and pronto!

2. I have a new hair cut...that I hate. Not strongly dislike. We are talking H A T E. It is too short. I can't do anything with it. It feels like a mess most of the time because I can't do anything with it!

3. I think I am in para menopause. You know, the state before the state of menopause? Because the hot flashes have started. I don't think it's just because I live in the south either. This might explain why I don't like my hair...because I can straighten it... and low and behold a hot flash comes on the scene and I am curly all over again! It's like Mother Nature with a wicked sense of humor!

4. The only person I can blame for my bad habits is me. How many times am I going to start a diet and exercise plan only to fail? I am so sick of this! What is WRONG with me that I cannot do this and get it over with...? Sort of like taking off a band aid... Why can't I just rip that sucker off and be done with it?

5. Attending a big university is NOT all that it's cracked up to be. To be honest, I am miserable academically right now. I feel like I am in this tiny little boat trying to make my way across the world's largest body of water...with two pencils to use as oars.

I think I also have a habit of spreading myself too thin (no weight pun intended...but oh! if it were that easy!). I have a tendency to take on things that I would be better off just not doing. Because when there is too much to do, I find myself not doing anything. Or rushing at the last minute to try to get everything done and really not feeling happy with myself.

Anybody else ever feel this way? Or am I the only little boat with two pencils as oars?

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Hello Eighth Grade

The school year has started. Eighth grade. Busy schedule of Math, Science, Social Studies, Gifted English - which I think I just figured out is a 20 minute class?, Spanish, Treble Chorus and Health & Fitness. Got that? Okay, now it's time for my comments....

Spanish. Should be fun. She's reminded me the past few days of the phrases I had forgotten. Like "What is your name?" or "How are you?" or even "What?". This will be an educational lesson not only for her - but for her Momma as well.

Social Studies - she loves this teacher so far. Yes, I know it's the 3rd day of school. But she also has her for home room. She seemed nice at meet the teacher.

Science - this is the year that science becomes fun again and we are both ready! Last year was WAY TOO MUCH copying notes and summarizing chapters. This time it's hands on...just the sort of class my daughter enjoys.

Math - could be challenging but with her I'm really not worried. You know how you hear students are either English/Artistic or Math/Science orientated? I think we are a cross between them both. I started having problems with math when I was in middle school and hated it. She thinks it's pretty cool.... no complaints here.

English - she likes this teacher - and the teacher talks FAST. So does my daughter.

Chorus - same teacher, all the same girls except for three who were promoted. This class is an audition only class and it's apparently becoming extinct. There are hardly any new recruits for the 6th grade class and there is no 7th grade treble chorus anymore. Hoping that she enjoys it a little more this year than last. All of her friends are in the other 8th grade class... we'll see.

Health & Fitness - She seems excited about this one. They talk about the health stuff the first few weeks and then go to the weight lifting room for the fitness part. No running the mile in 100 degrees weather. Let's just hope this isn't the beginning of her getting stuck in gym for the rest of the year. We spent so much time in PE last year that we didn't get to have any of the fun connection classes that were available.

She came in and told me that although her test scores were high enough to exclude her from reading class this year, she is still required to read the 25 books that are mandated. Good thing she likes to read but a bummer of sorts because reading is supposed to be for fun!

She has a friend who is in all of her classes again this year. I am beginning to suspect that this friend's mother has something to do with this. It all goes back to something that happened in 6th grade between two of The Bug's friends. The mother called the school and now it is odd...they have every class together except for connections - because Bug is in one chorus and the friend is in another. I am not sure how I feel about all of this but I just keep my thoughts to myself. When she was in elementary school we found out that a student's mother always requested that her son be in class with The Bug because she was kind to him (he had some emotional behavioral issues) ... I know that the school's will usually permit these requests if the parents call and make the request. I'm just not sure how I feel about it involving my daughter.

Finally, we are spending our last few days of Tweenerhood around here. She'll turn 13 on Monday. Where does the time go?

Sunday, August 1, 2010

One Week of Summer To Go...

Summer is coming to a close here. A week from tonight we will be double-checking to make sure everything has been packed and that the first day's outfit is ready to go. The Bug will start here last year in middle school. We will go to a "meet the teacher" event on Thursday to find out what team she is on ... and hopefully find out that some of her friends are on the same team. In the meantime though we'll spend our days shopping for the perfect outfit and our evenings attending Youth Week - a youth department version of VBS - at our church. In between all of that, we've got to get hair cuts as well.

Her birthday is in two weeks time. She'll finally turn 13! I can remember I always looked forward to turning 13 - like it was a right of passage for me! She's really not said much about it. We are deciding what to do to celebrate and she's mentioned a few things that she'd like for her birthday. There are times when I look at her and wonder where did my little girl go?