Wednesday, July 15, 2009

What Has Happened To Me?

Now before you think the last post was about me personally....let me just interject. I am far from the person that I wrote about the other day. The person who apparently thinks I am some sort of toy or ragdoll that you can treat however you wish... I have got to grow a thicker skin.

Today however is about me. I have lost me. It's true. I was here one day and then wham! I was gone - and I don't know where I got off to but I've got to find myself and bring her back. I'll read some of my old posts on here. I was funny. Chipper. Living the slackerville life like a blonde with a new bottle of peroxide. Not so much these days. Everything seems heavy...myself included.

I found myself sitting and staring into space yesterday evening. The Bug was at my parents. Hubs was in class. I ate a plate of chips with cheese sauce, drank my Coke Zero and zoned out. I didn't feel motivated to do anything. nothing. nada. zip. ziltch. donut holes. Well, okay technically if there had been any donut holes in the house I would have totally eaten them. Instead I cleaned out the bottom of my closet and vacuumed. It's an exciting life I'm telling you...

So today I got up, showered and scrunched my hair - still not sure if I like that effect, but hey I have curly hair...did you know that? - and got dressed, actually put on makeup and loaded the car down with things I had to take back to Dillards, Belk, Kohls, Target and Penneys. I have sort of been in denial about taking anything back recently. Told myself that I could not stop at Chickfila or in any store that might sell anything that's made of bread and covered in chocolate. Because while I did so well to lose weight last year... I think the weight has been secretly searching for me...high and low!

I've got to get out of this 'funk' that I'm in. Maybe it's the weather. Maybe it's because school starts back in less than 4 weeks. Maybe it's because I'm waiting to hear the dreadful decision from State about whether or not I'm accepted into their program. Maybe it's because the hoopla about the wedding has died down. Whatever it is, I've got to get up and get going.

Start back on my diet and exercise. Work in the yard. Organize the house. Paint the landing and upstairs hallway. Clean out the bonus room. Organize the garage. Redo the shelving in mine and Hub's closets. Get things ready for The Bug to go back to school. Decide if we're really going to rent something in the mountains for Thanksgiving this year - and hijack Mom and Dad to go along with us.

What do you do when you realize you've lost yourself?

1 comment:

Slacker MOM II said...

Friday Coffee......call me or let me know.....and its me....check your blog...