Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Regrets...

Do you ever find yourself thinking about things you regret? Things you may have said (or not said), did (or not did), actions you might have taken...that you wish you could take them back? We were talking about regrets today. Maybe it comes with aging...you know, you are forced to make so many life changing decisions when you are too young to really know what you are doing.

Someone commented today that they thought taking a year or two off after high school was a good idea. I quickly vetoed that idea. I did that. And I went to work at the airline. In a good job with exceptional benefits. And I delayed my acceptance to college because of it. For almost 7 years. Then I went back to a community college for a while. We had been married for 3 + years and living in our cute little blue house and I got pregnant. I had horrible 'morning' sickness. I finished up my semester of night classes and didn't go back. I started over again after I decided to leave the airline. It seemed like the natural procession for me. Leave my job, take my buy-out and go back to school. I did this and eventually finished with my degree in Accounting. Why I got it in accounting, I'll never know...maybe I'll add that to my list of regrets.

When I decided to go back this time, I had a short-term plan. I wouldn't need to do four years of education...I could do this quickly. Right. Technically I should be completing my year of student teaching right now. But things got in the way...like me. And now I'm shuffling threw applications to colleges to hurry up and finish my last four or five semesters. I am ready to be done. I'm ready to move on to the next phase of my life. And I am sure The UIC is just as anxious.

This college adventure is just one regret that I have. There are people that I've been friends with that I've regretted in the end. A few people that I dated that I wish I had not. Some words spoken in anger. Things I've neglected. People I've neglected. And occasionally, I realize, with regret, that I am guilty today of neglecting myself. I've regretted the time and energy that I've spent on things that have pulled me away from what should matter the most...my family. my faith. my future. But I also know that a lot of times, these things that I've regretted have a way of molding me into the person that I am today. Would I be as compassionate as I am to people if I didn't sometimes see exactly where they were coming from? I find that a part of my regret is also the part of me that makes me hopeful. Does that make any sense?

What about you? Have any regrets? Feel like regrets are opportunities to mold yourself into something better? Tell me what you think. :)

1 comment:

Scrappy Girl said...

I regret giving in to Dr. Hubby and Manga Dork and taking Foster Son...but we learned some lessons in the end.

I regret letting a friendship last as long as it did with a friend who was not "true."