I think those two words can describe what's going on here at home. Relationships are changing. Everyday is an adventure.
The Doodlebug is a good kid. She's truly one of a kind. She has a great sense of humor. She's affectionate and considerate and delightful to be around most of the time. We've all lived in this little bubble here at home for eleven years. But things are changing and the person who is having the hardest time adjusting seems to be... The UIC.
Where I sit and marvel at the changes in our daughter, just in the last year. I think he resents a lot of it. Because these changes have somehow changed their relationship. He feels left out. They've always been like playmates. Video games. Funny movies. Amusement park rides. She's changing...and he's got issues.
I think I noticed the first change this past summer. They used to go to some local races on Thursday nights. It was their thing...like a date. But this past summer she decided she really didn't want to do that anymore. Lately he has been pointing out more things...like she doesn't like for him to kiss her on the tip of her nose anymore. She acts like he has cooties apparently. And he's having a hard time dealing with this ... because he sees that she and I are getting closer.
I'm trying to see his perspective. I mean, did I feel a little left out when they went off to do their 'fun stuff' together? Probably, yes. But at the same time, I am loving the evolving relationship that she and I are developing. We are really enjoying our time together. We do our nails. We shop. I finally have someone to do all that 'girly' stuff with. We giggle while watching movies together. We talk about music. I listen to her. Something that I can always remember appreciating my mother doing for me when I was growing up. Sometimes we just want to be heard, right? A sounding board....
My relationship with my Dad was awkward during my teen years because I sought out my Mom's opinion more than Daddy's. The UIC and his sister grew up without a true father figure, so he has nothing to draw on for experience in this situation. I told him not to be so abrupt with her. To listen to her. To not criticize her musical taste. Ask her questions but to not be pushy. When she wants to talk, no matter what he is doing, give her the time and really listen. Get to know the person she is becoming. To try to let their relationship evolve without being so forceful. But his feelings are hurt and I swear, earlier he was pouting like a little kid about the entire thing. I did tell him that he was acting like a 'grump'...a term that she had used to describe him not 20 minutes earlier.
So we'll sit back and watch what evolves over the next few weeks...months...or years. But what about you? Do you remember those odd years with either of your parents? Have you experienced this with your own children? Got any sage advice to share? I'm all ears....