Wednesday, August 20, 2008

This Mommy Job I've Got

I love being a Momster. There are times when honestly I'll think how incredibly lucky I am to be a mom and how glad I am that I have the relationship with my daughter that I do. I'll think back to my life Pre-Doodlebug and it seems dim in comparison to what goes on here daily. I wouldn't trade one day, not even one minute, of the chaos that goes on around here sometimes for the most tranquil 'non-mom' day.

Lately she has been seeking my input on a variety of subjects. Clothes. Her hair. Skin care. Friends. And tonight it was boys. Apparently her little stalker from her health class had sent her an email asking her if she wanted to be his girlfriend. She was conflicted. She's not ready for that kind of commitment (her words, not mine) so she replied back and asked him if they could take the time to become friends first. But she was so worried about her answer. Because she was worried that it might hurt his feelings. So we talked about it and then I suggested that we get the male perspective from The UIC. We had a little family pow wow and discussed the whole boyfriend/girlfriend scenario. Upon reflection, it was nice to be able to sit down with her and talk this through. In the end, she was satisfied by what she did and felt better about the situation.

At bedtime, as she and I were saying good night I told her how proud I was of her for being true to herself. I also told her that it meant so much to me that she comes and talks to me about the things that are going on in her life and that I hoped, no matter where life takes her, that we will always be able to talk like that.

Later on, I called to check on my parents (as I do this each's a habit of mine) and was relaying the situation to my Mom. See, I have one of those relationships with her, where I can call her up and talk about anything and she will give me her opinion or make a suggestion but most importantly she listens to me. Sometimes that's all we need...someone to listen to us. To care about us. And it dawned on me. I have the type of relationship with my Mom that I hope to have with my own daughter one day. She is my mentor. She is always there for me. She loves me unconditionally...and believe me I have done some STUPID things in my life...but she is always there for me with a hug and a shoulder whenever I need her. I can call her at a moment's notice and ask her to pray for me...and she will drop whatever she is doing to help me. She makes me feel important. Valued. LOVED.

No, we don't always see things eye to eye. I don't expect to always see things eye to eye with The Doodlebug. But I know that I am building a foundation with my daughter, as she enters her pre-teen years, where she knows that she can talk to me and that I will listen. Just like my Mom did (and still does) with me. That this Mommy job I have isn't a Monday-Friday 8-5 gig. It's a lifetime position, with no holidays, weekends off, vacation or sick time. But it's the best job in the world. I wouldn't trade anything for it. Not one thing.


Ryzmomplus2 said...

what a great post! There is nothing like a mother -daughter relationship! So many ups and downs but always a reliable place for them to come to.

The Source said...

That was a beautiful post. And you're so right...the relationship you continue to build with her now will see you both through the years ahead. She's going to grow into a wonderful young lady.

Scrappy Girl said...

This post really hit home. While visiting Lil Sis (she has no kids)I noticed that when I first get there I nice to be able to do what you want...It's all about you and not the can focus on what you think BUT by the time I was ready to leave I was thinking...This is so flippin' boring!...I wouldn't know what to do with myself...How lonely!

As for the mother/daughter relationship...I love my relationship with Manga Dork. We are so close. She will be 13 next month. She is going through teen hormones right now and her moods are SO up and down. It seems I am VERY irritating to her right now. I try to remember what that age and phase was like so I don't take it personally. It is just so hard.

kia (good enough mama) said...

oh, this reminds me so so much of my own relationship with my late mom. trust me, your daughter will always be grateful and cherish these wonderful memories you're making together. it's beautiful!

Zen Ventures said...

I like your blog title. I feel like that all the time! Slacker! :) I'm impressed with the relationship you have with your mom. That is just so priceless. I try to do that with my mom and I'm getting better at it. You're daughter is blessed to see this wonderful relationship you have with your mom. It will reflect back to how she will define her relationship with you. :) Anyway, was just dropping by to say HI!