Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Not much to report

Work is keeping me super busy. And I mean super busy. No lesson plans - just a general guideline on what still needs to be covered this school year. So every day, I spend my lunch time and time after school trying to figure out what we are going to do the next day. Making lesson plans. Part of me thinks "why bother? The teacher didn't care enough to put it all down, what does it matter?" but then there's that part of me who thinks of the students. Don't they need to know how to work with positive and negative integers and don't they need to know how to graph x,y ? Does anybody actually care that I am trying to do right by them? To make sure that they have some exposure to the stuff they'll need to know how to do in Middle School?

Then there are my parent responsibilities to my daughter. Does she feel slighted? Does it bother her that I am focusing on trying to help student A or student B that I'm not taking the time to really understand what is going on with her? I told her today when we got home at 4:15 - two hours after school had ended - that I promised this summer would be about us - spending time together. That I love her and am so proud of her for just being this incredible person that God gave to me to raise - and that she is my number one priority.

And then there's the UIC. I'm sure he feels slighted in light of everything that's going on. I'm either trying to pull up math worksheets, grading papers, or trying to die-cut a million letters for the end of the year picture pages for the hallway for 125 fifth graders. I'm sure he's wondering when it's going to be his turn.

Then there is myself. I'm tired. Tomorrow afternoon I'm going to work on the student pages - and guess what? I haven't even found the pictures of my own daughter to do her page. How sad is that? Because I just don't have enough time. I've asked for parent help, but because people are so pissed off at the grade level mom, nobody has responded. I'm about to give up on the idea of die cutting names and just about to start printing them out on cardstock. I'm over it. Why should I care when nobody else seems to give a flip? Why do I let it bother me? When did I become this person who let this sort of stuff bother her?

I am just ready for this school year to be over. No more "momma drama" as we call it around our house. Then I can focus on what's important - my own family and their needs. Because time is slipping away threw that hourglass and these are precious moments that I'll never have again. Seize the day. Live each moment to the fullest. Just do it.

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